Time

Last Saturday I went out for a drink at McCafe with my family after dinner. As my aunts and grandma got up to leave, my mom asked me to go accompany my grandma to the car. So I did. As I was holding the door open for her, I casually asked, "When are we playing ra mi (majong game) again?". Her face instantly lit up and instead of just saying the usual "Anytime. Poh Poh is very free", she replied, "Poh Poh room got extra bed. You can stay over then can get yee yee (that is how I address my aunts) to fetch you home the next day".

I told her I can't. My mom wouldn't like the thought of me gambling through the night. Then she tried to reason with the fact that I am spending time with her so it would be fine. "Poh Poh feels really bored at home. Nothing to do. Only sleep the whole day".  I felt a pang of guilt because I haven't really been paying much attention to her. I did promise her that I can go during the day and be back by night. Should probably make an arrangement with my aunt soon.

My aunts would make it a point to remind everyone to spend more time with grandma. To be exact, the phrase etched into my head is "She is not getting any younger" or "Poh Poh is getting older". It serves as a good reminder for me once in a while. I do admit that whenever my aunt remind me only that I start paying attention to little things. It often hits me hard when I begin to notice how much she's aged. She is almost 80 years old. To think about it, that is pretty close to a century. Is it bad that right after typing the word 'century' I thought about dinosaurs? Not labeling my grandma as a dinosaur. It is just that...when we see a large number of years, we instantly think historical events..like...dinosaurs....

Randomness aside, this evening, my friend, Salena, announced in our group chat that her grandpa passed away in the morning. Instantly, I felt bad for her because her birthday was the very next day (or today to be exact since it is after midnight here). Pretty much dashed our birthday plans for her. But it can't be helped. When your time is up, it's up. No bargaining. This reminds me of what Parvin said a couple of days ago. "Your death has already been decided the day you were born. If you're meant to go. You're meant to go".

That being said, I kinda miss my grandpa. I'm not too sure where am I heading with this post. But I am just dumping my thoughts here.

Signing off at 3.43 a.m.