News Flash

Samantha Is Officially Employed!

It is probably stale news by now if you've been keeping up with me on Facebook. It was a good start after celebrating my 24th birthday on March 30th. First day of work was on April's Fool Day and I survived with zero pranks pulled on me.

April pretty much started on a high note. What is there to not be excited about first week of work right? Entering the second week I had a mild bout of depression because I was struggling to adjust to this life changing decision that my employer helped me get into. Waking up early and feeling tired at the end of each day. My bedtime is clocked before 10 p.m. everyday. No joke.

 But I have some what adjusted to it by now and definitely excited to get back into gym next week. I miss my sauna sessions after a tough workout!

Ever since I started this job, it got me thinking about a lot of things. I suddenly developed this appetite for success. I was so...hungry. A hunger for perfection in what I do to give my family and myself a better life. My mind kept running but my body was just sitting at my desk with a pile of reading materials. One side was thinking about the perception of adult-like duties such as getting a house, a car and trips around the world while the other was trying to comprehend the lectures from my boss and the reading materials. On top of that, I had to deal with something I thought I didn't like. Heavy/light machinery. Think along the likes of forklifts, boom lifts, excavators, trucks and cranes. So different from my girly interests. My job is to market the financial facilities that my company offer (i.e. loans) which is fine. But to delve into an industry I know nothing about, it was borderline terrifying and annoying altogether. 

"I thought I didn't like" because I have came to realize that it is not as bad as what my reluctant mind portrayed it to be. I was an ass full of excuses. Although the brighter side of this whole thing is a no-brainer but my mind was too crowded to think about what is best for myself. I wanted to get my hands dirty right away but my boss knows better than to let me deal with actual work when I have absolutely zero knowledge in this working field. My impatience grew to self-induced stress to get things done when there isn't anything much I can do. A small manifestation of doubt crept into my mind questioning if I am made for this job. The answer is still unclear but we'll see how it goes until probation is almost over.That will be about 6 months from now. 

All these crap went on for a few days and last Thursday I just hit my limit and broke down. Still had my mind set to go to work though. The thing about me is that, no matter how difficult shit gets, I will still pull through the tears and get things done. 

Most of my friends had already blossomed in their career for a solid couple of years and they were really supportive when I was feeling pretty damn crappy to say the least. They could relate to most of the emotions and changes that I am going through which gave me a small relief that I am not going through this alone. Needless to say they had very handy advises to pass on to me. I must admit that there were foolish moments that had my mind being too eager to catch up with my peers on a career level but that is just plain illogical because I had only just begun this new path in life and I can't just build a flourishing career over night. I think I kinda live up to the impatient characteristic of an Aries. Which can be good and bad but in this case, it is pretty bad.

After days of complaining, it is safe to say I feel a lot better about my work now. I finally learned to detach myself from my towering expectations and worries about a future that I have little control of because the variables in life is constantly changing. Machineries still doesn't pique my interest BUT we all live to learn and why should I shy away from knowledge, especially when it can help me do better in what I do right? Hope I can keep up with the optimism. But for now, I'll just keep my chin up and smile :)

Signing off at 3:02 P.M.